ICU - Sri Lankan style!

At the weekend I got to experience Sri Lankan hospitals first hand. I was woken at 1am by my phone ringing, it was another volunteer who was distraught. She had developed food poisoning, was feeling like death and was needing accompanying down to the hospital. Ironically she got ill from the 5 star hotel she'd decided to treat herself to for one night of luxury - sod's law. So five minutes later I found myself flying down the pothole riddled road wedged on the back of a motorbike. Now people here seem to effortlessly manage to fit a family of five onto a bike but when it comes to us westerners we struggled with three. In the hurry I'd shoved a skirt on which proceeded to billow up round my ears Marilyn Monroe style, so I was all knickers and white legs - it's certainly an effective way of stopping traffic when you don't have a siren. The hospital was a government one and it was pretty dire. I did my best to reassure my friend as she was wheeled past a washing line of gloves which were drying and awaiting being reused (some on the line, some on the floor). We went to the "intensive care unit" which was complete with cats going through the bins and home-made air con in the form of walls that only went half way to the roof - so it was open air. When we got to her bed (which incidentally had a horse hair mattress - I know this by the foot wide hole in it) the nurse told me patients had to provide our own sheets and pillows so the host dad had to go back to fetch some. Finally we got her into bed and the nurses put a drip up...this was as far as Sri Lankan nursing went. For the rest of the night it was just me and her (the host "dad" had to go as it was females only). "Both ends" were simultaneously emptying every half hour. I tried to get her through to the toilet on a few occasions but this was a nightmare as I had to stop her drip, carry the bottle with one hand, push the wheelchair with the other and perch the vomit bucket on her knees (there was no loo roll, obviously, so my friend had a grim introduction to "the left-handed way"). The nurses didn't once help and never checked that I restarted the drip or set it at the correct rate. There was a sweet little lady in the next door bed who had the night time munchies and kept feeding me bananas and crackers (I tried hard not to think about what might have been on them - thankfully the light was dim!). The lights on the ward were turned off at 2am and put back on at 4.45am, and there was a constant drone coming from a radio - it really wasn't a restful place. By the morning I realised the hospital mosquitoes had had a fantastic feed on my legs over night. At 5.30am I was given two minuscule glass jars for stool and urine specimens (brings a whole new meaning to the expression "taking the piss"). Bearing in mind that my mate was struggling to even sit up I thought this was a little ridiculous but no they wanted them. Somehow, through a joint effort we managed to get them. The nurse I handed them to even had the cheek to remind me to wash my hands which were of course covered in..... ! At visiting time we managed to load her into a car and get her to a private hospital which of course was world's apart from the one we'd been in. I'm pleased to say she's now fine and it's strange what good comes out of negative experiences. For me, I spent the whole night thinking how much I'd missed nursing and despite all the shit and vomit it's definitely the job for me. For my friend, well it's not a night she'd care to repeat - I think her experience came second only to giving birth when it comes to losing your dignity!